Trials! Count it all joy?

James 1:2-4 "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (NASV)

As many of you know, my family has just gone through the toughest trial of our lives. One month ago we lost our little boy, John David, whom we fostered for 3 1/2 years, since he was 7 months old. We were the only family he knew, we were his daddy and mommy. He was my little buddy and my wife's baby. This may seem a little overboard to you, seeing we were foster parents, but until you've had a little one in your care for 3 1/2 years it's hard to understand. The sudden return of John David to his biological mother and her boyfriend was totally unexpected and sent us on an emotional roller coaster we will never forget. We treated it like a death, we mourned for the loss, and worse yet, we ache whenever we are reminded that he is presently struggling to understand why we left him on the doorsteps of a family he barely knows.

There are two truths I presently cling to, and I would like to think I understand these truths now more than ever before.

1. This did not take God by surprise. He knew it was coming and yet He chose not to stop it. I believe He has in mind the best interests of all parties involved, and that gives me hope. These scriptures speak to this hope:

Romans 8:28 "All things work together for good, to those who love God and are called according to His purpose."

Psalms 145:9 " The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works."

Psalms 147:5 " Great is our Lord, and mighty in power, His understanding is infinite."

Isaiah 46:9-10 "I am God, and there is none like Me, declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things that are not yet done, saying, 'My counsel shall stand, and I will do all My pleasure,'"

2. I feel closer to God now than I ever have. I hear the saints often say, "you grow most during the difficult times in your life", and I really never understood. Now I'm beginning to grasp that concept and know it to be true. I have a joy in my heart that I can't explain, but it's been like a pain killer the last 4 weeks. I trust God now more than ever. I know God more intimately now than I did a month ago. Like James alludes to in chapter 1, verse 3, I feel my endurance has taken to new heights. I'm by no means perfect, but I have no desire to go back to where I was before. Don't get me wrong, I'm still battling my flesh, and I would take John David back in a heart beat. Please continue to pray for mine and your little buddy.

Grace, MB